Friday 18 October 2013

General Update

Some quick updates.
Our house had some critical components missing till recently – doors. We’ve got the doors fitted earlier this week. The episode regarding the doors was interesting. Like everything else, people gave a lot of suggestions as to what I could do about the doors. We were sure that we wanted the typical village doors made of good wood. That would have suited the stone walls and the mud flooring inside. A carpenter offered to make it about 3 months back, but his quote would have had me shell out almost 20k on doors and windows. City people have to be prepared to be overcharged in villages. But, I wasn’t prepared to spend that much. It continued to be on hold all this time. A house without doors had become a nuisance because dogs would enter the house at night and even during the day sometimes. Finally, our search ended in Sehore (the nearest town), and got the doors and windows made for less than 6k without any compromise on looks and quality. It makes us really happy and proud to see the house – built from the scratch – an experience that a city dweller never gets.
On the farming front also there is some progress. We’ve sown quite a few vegetables and some of them should be available for consumption in about 10 – 15 days. Radish, Carrots, Brinjal, Cabbage, Coriander, Tomatoes, Red leafy vegetable and Spinach are sown. Tomorrow, we plan to sow Potatoes and after a few days Cauliflower and Onions. We also sowed a bit of chana today. Over the next few days, we will also sow jowar, a few more vegetables and some more chana. We’ve almost decided not to sow wheat this time.

The rains seem to have ended for this year and the early morning temperature has started dropping. The cold is expected to be severe this year. We’re all looking forward to the winter experience. 

Monday 14 October 2013

Moments of Doubt

Today, Rekha had a concern, which is worth a note. She said that she is almost ashamed to call our parents to visit us. The reasons are that our bathroom walls are still not done (the mason vanished leaving it unfinished and we’re yet busy doing some other higher priority work in the house), we don’t have vegetables everyday and many meals consist sprouts, dal, and the like, we don’t have beds to sleep on because we’re yet to find a carpenter, who will make it for us. She was afraid our parents and siblings may ridicule our move in light of the struggles for basics, especially because we had much more than these earlier.
Yesterday, we had a long talk about whether this struggle is worth it. Why should we not get back to a life, which is more convenient?
I like addressing these concerns. But I like discussing them with Rekha. With someone else, it begins with a rhetorical question i.e. the question is a statement – We must move back to a more convenient life. This struggle isn’t worth it. When I discuss this with Rekha, we take it as a question and seek an answer rather than defend a pre-determined answer.
Yesterday, we explored an alternative place, where we should move to, the pros and cons thereof. We agreed that Mumbai or any large city is certainly out of consideration. We discussed a smaller city like Dehradun in detail and an even smaller town as well in detail. How will it be for the kids, what will we do, what will be the impact of surrounding society, etc. We couldn’t find a place better than where we are. But the inference was more non-negative, not a positive one.
Today, when I took the question, I said that one has to look at the situation in the correct context. If we had shifted to USA and if we were to have all basics but were not materially better off than earlier, I would be ashamed. But here, though we don’t have the basic conveniences, I’m not ashamed, because that was not the purpose, nor was it expected. In fact, we have been able to survive comfortably despite the different setting, we have been able to get for ourselves a shelter, got into some routine for ourselves and our children, started with some farming activity and are moving towards some sort of settled life, that too in 8 months time, it is nothing short of an achievement. I am certainly proud of my wife, kids and myself for being able to take such a decision and live through it. If someone ridicules us, it will be his/her immaturity or lack of sensitivity.
As we discussed this further, we realized that the concern was not due to any of the basic conditions she was referring to. The reason was something else; I shall elaborate in another blog post.

I realize that these moments of self doubt either strengthen our conviction or weaken it depending upon how we respond to them. 

Sunday 6 October 2013

Not so nice a day!

It’s been raining for the last 3-4 days. These last days of a season are always tricky. You know that these are the last few days, but you don’t know how many more. We’re supposed to sow wheat when the temperature starts dropping. As of now, we’re just waiting for the rains to finally end.
Rekha was not too well yesterday and I missed my exercise, since I had to fill-in for her. Not a great start to the day. Then the news came in that all the four cows along with the four calves were missing since last night. Three of them were milking cows and we didn’t have milk at all. Leaving the cows and their calves free is quite a blunder on the part of the guy who was talking care of them. Siddharth and Shreya spend almost 1-2 hours everyday with the cows and are quite happy doing that. Their sudden absence was unsettling them as well. Rekha also was quite sad and so was I. I suspected foul play. May be this guy deliberately let the cows as well as calves loose or worst still, flicked them himself. I had a bit of a tough talk and without making any allegation I indicated that if the cows are not to be found, we’ll have to report the matter to the police. In the afternoon, I again had an sterner talk and told him loud and clear that the cows were lost from under his nose and he better make sure they’re back by evening. When the cows didn’t appear for another one hour, I started getting surer that this is a mischief.
This was slipping point and I started slipping into gloom. All our ‘not so good’ experiences started coming to fore. So much so that I started seriously thinking that if we need to leave from here, where could we go? The main concern was that we’re unable to find people we can trust. A typical villager looks at us as the monied urbanite and an opportunity to exploit. Also, they don’t understand at all why we’re here and what are we doing. All they can see is that we’re staying with 2 small children in a remote place. When the negative spiral begins, it just goes on and on. I discussed with Rekha and we realized that we actually have NOWHERE to go. We’d hate to get back into a city. We’re sure that buying land in a village and starting afresh is something we’ve realized we’ll never do. Living like this with anyone else may not suit us or them. We came to the conclusion that we have nowhere to go. Nowhere whatsoever.
By evening I was prepared to tell the cowherd to pay-up for the lost cows. Just then, someone located the cows. Siddharth was so happy, so was Shreya. The gloomy thoughts took a back-seat.
The new day (today) had a better start. Sun had appeared. We also decided to go to Bhopal, watch a movie, get some basic info on solar energy. Though the movie was an absolute disaster, the mood is much better than yesterday.

I think it is very important to make a note of some gloomy days as well. These days teach us a lot, make us capable of fighting it out.