Thursday 8 September 2016

Re-Connecting

The 3 months in Mumbai have been quite as planned so far. An important agenda for me was to re-connect with a few people, convert acquaintances & colleagues into friends. I’ve realised that every sincere effort to connect does have an impact – eventually if not immediately.

Friends during college are always special; almost like immediate family - they’re bound by love. This sentiment, however, is covered by layers of insulation, which with time forms a rocky layer – difficult to penetrate. I knew it will require persistence. What I mean by re-connection is that we get communicating seamlessly, burst the bubbles we’ve got so used to living within. Friendship is more than love and concern. Family members, who are able to communicate seamlessly, become friends. In that sense, re-connecting with siblings, parents, a few cousins and some relatives is also on the agenda.

Reaching this stage of seamless communication is not easy at all. Disconnecting is a very popular option. Social media and social gatherings create an illusion of options. Disconnecting does not seem to cost much therefore. So, I need to be careful.

With Shubha, I did manage to make some progress. It’s been 15 years since we passed out and have hardly been in touch. To add to the difficulty, the gender isn’t same. What worked is that she sees some value in our experiments with life outside the city and homeschooling. It’s too early to talk on these subjects, but the good thing is that because of them, we’re been able to significantly shrink the bubbles around us. A good start to a long journey.

The commonality Sajesh and I shared at office was an alienation with the popular way of life. I had thought that our experiments with lifestyle would bring us closer, but it didn’t happen that way. Conversations did not lead anywhere when I tried them during my earlier visits. This time, I tried differently. I took him and his family with me to a farm and got them to firsthand experience life on a farm. It worked more than I’d hoped for. We got talking and connected at a level deeper than earlier. Again a good start to a long journey!

I’d wanted to connect with Mirat for a long time, especially because he’d also stepped off the beaten path to pursue his passion in writing. The initial years are a bit rough and I thought he might do well to have some moral support. But he didn’t respond then. After a few attempts to fix time, we did meet and spent some decent time knowing our outlooks better. The connection with Mirat is important for me because he brings that extra fizz of intelligence and a youthful energy.

Vinay has always been an admirable colleague. Though 10 years senior, he challenges me with stuff, which one would expect from the younger lot. I’d spent good time talking on phone, but wasn’t sure if I’d communicated anything relevant to him. Eventually, he did respond and rubbished all my apprehensions. There’s lot in store with this connection.

The re-connection with GPJ Gupta was a jackpot. I’d always admired his no-nonsense professionalism and a rare commitment to work, but had neither communicated it nor anything else. Thanks to Vinay, I got to understand that he appreciates our experiments with life and very readily we met with families. It was a fantastic day spent. The entire family was so welcoming that we were humbled at being treated with so much love and attention. This one is another promising prospect.

Nikhilesh has been another pleasant surprise. Young and bubbling with energy, he’s very intelligent and yet open to listening and giving due consideration to contrarian perspectives. We’d met incidentally at Hasmukh’s farm just once. But the interaction was sufficient for him to see value enough to travel and meet up.

There are more connections in the pipeline in days to come. The setting up of a broad band channel of communication free of the ego-related barriers is an encouraging development. Also the effort to connect individually rather than in a group is working wonderfully. The task on hand is to have sufficient content to flow through the channel.